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Saturday, December 19, 2009

Damn You Jamie.

Really, everybody in the world should hate Jamie Cullum. I might be mistaken, but I thought to be famous in music you had to be a) good looking b) edgy and c) be having sex all the time with someone equally attractive. Talent isn't always necessary, not with autotune anyways.
But Jamie Cullum seems to be sneaking back around, and this is unacceptable. I could deal with his live lounge cover of Pharrell's Frontin' because it was sweet in a dorky way, and it's okay for unattractive people to sing sweet dorky songs.

But Jamie Cullum has gone and covered Rih-rih's Dont Stop The Music.
That song is not sweet, or dorky. I had to think about this, is Jamie Cullum allowed to do this?
After much deliberation, no. He is not. No matter how amazing a cover it is. And it is pretty awesome.
A) He is not good looking. He looks a bit like a crap Frodo in an okayish suit. Yes, he seems like a genuinley lovely person, but you can't deny he does look like frodo.
B) He's not edgy. He's always in that same damn suit.
and C) He's dating Sophie Dahl. She's way hotter than him, and like double his size, so even if he was having sex with her ALL the time, nobody wants to imagine that. His face would be like, on par with her belly all the time, and if it was the other way around, she'd probably squash him, or be so high up that she couldn't see him. She'd have to squint.

But despite my raging on him, this is a pretty sweet cover.
And he is trying super hard to be edgy, what with the piano explosions and stuff. Ooo, a famous musician smashing up his instrument during a performance, if that's not new, original and edgy, I don't know what is.

I'm still downloading this though.